Ava.

Sept. 8 2014

Imagine I died. But I want you to imagine that it happened like this..When I was 29.  Perfectly healthy. And an hour after being forcefully drug by the police from the hospital. Begging. you to treat me. They thought that the complaints about the pain in my legs was made up,  because they “heard” I used to drink and they think I want drugs. I’m just drug seeking. Except a simple blood test would have revealed that there were no drugs in my system. And I don’t have health insurance. When I tell them I refuse to leave because I cannot stand up for the pain in my legs,  they call the cops. The cops don’t have an address for me, they think I may be living out of my car.  So they order me to leave the hospital, as the hospital demanded, or they will, they scream,  take me to jail. I remain adamant that I not a ‘squatter’ or drug seeking. I explain that I can’t walk to the police, so they drag me out. You can see it all on video. You can see the cops shouting at me that I better stand up.

But I can’t.

So I don’t.

So, they get me out of the cop car, screaming at me, and drag me into a jail cell. 15 minutes later the cleaning lady finds me — dead on the floor. Already going cold. Surveillance video in the cell shows me sobbing, alone, scared, unable to move,  as I die.

Diagnosis?  The pain in my legs:  blood clots.  The hospital, refusing to treat me, their diagnosis being ‘drug seeking ‘ when a simple blood test would have ruled that out,  missed the massive blood clots in my legs — the ones that spread to my lungs. 

Can you see it? Can you imagine the outrage?! I’m white.  I’m somewhat cute. I come from a decent family.  Can you imagine? Just imagine! Can you picture how people would react? How the press would run with it?? 

Now imagine that I’m black, “homeless”, and I’m in St Louis, Missouri. And it’s 2 years before anybody even cares.

People that tell me that the Democrats make up the racism, that we just want to be angry. “Typical Democratic race baiting response” they say. That’s because these same people refuse to believe that a problem exists. Do they honestly believe that people in St Louis, Missouri, and Ferguson, Missouri,  are just angry for the hell of it? They don’t even know stories like this because they don’t care to. She was black. She was homeless. No great waste, right?  Hence #BLACKLIVESMATTER. Because the white people keep suggesting that they don’t.

You don’t see that when you punch a ticket for a party of “conservatives” that just repealed section FOUR of the Voting Rights Act  — part of what ‘Selma was about’ — a section that that they claim we no longer need because it works, that you are punching a ticket to uphold the same thing that George Wallace and the state of Alabama believed in 1965 ? You honestly believe these “conservative” Supreme Court justices that because Selma, Alabama,  now has a black mayor that the federal legislation that allowed that to happen, that’s been upheld for decades in Supreme Court Challenges,  is now no longer necessary, because it — wait for it — works? You don’t see that when you punch that ticket for a party that celebrates this sort of behavior because “voter fraud!” — and let me remind you,  there is not one proven case of the voter fraud, not only in the state of Tennessee, but any of the states imposing the strictest penalties — I believe there are 31 proven cases in the entire United States (and that means ivestigated, not prosecuted) — that when  you punch a ticket for  that, you punch a ticket for racism? You don’t see the American Family Association and their values? You don’t listen to the main supporters,  backers, endorsers and funders of the current Republican Party? You don’t hear the things that Republican politicians say? “Typical race baiting response from a Democrat” is all you say. It’s all you can say. And it’s all over the comment section on local news channels’ social media,  because that’s where the keyboard warriors come out in droves practice their keyboard lynching anonymously. You don’t see this? Really?

One reason then —  because you don’t want to. You don’t want to acknowledge the existence of a problem in the first place,  because if you do, if you acknowledge that there is a problem, then you have to acknowledge that you’re part of that problem, not the solution.  And that makes people squirm. Because they need to believe in that lie.

I always laugh and say, while I don’t diagnose anyone as ‘white trash’ — because they do a good job of that themselves —  I use it in general, saying, “ain’t nothing like a bunch of white trash needing  to believe that they’re so much better than black people.” See, that’s the  lie. And that lie is both rampant and strong.

And I’ll leave you with this: I read somewhere that the powerful white man,  the wealthy white man,  has always been able to enslave the poor, enslave his workers, by quieting the cries of hunger caused from the empty bellies of their children,  by telling them that no matter how bad his lot in life, no matter how poor he was, that at least he was better than the negro.

You have to acknowledge the existence of that first before you can ever acknowledge the problems that still exists in America.

I’m over it.

And if you define people like Robert Francis Kennedy as ‘pond scum’ or ‘bottom feeders’ or ‘ enablers of people who just want to live off  of the government’ for simply believing the truth that was once embraced, what seems so, so long ago by the great Abraham Lincoln — that all men are created equal — if you believe that that belief makes someone less than or unpatriotic; then you can kiss my off white ass.

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