My Original Brag on My Nieces — that was posted to one of my stalker’s Facebook.

It’s no wonder that I have
stalkers, creepers and haters. I live life like:  “My niece is a  state championship softball
player,  what does yours do?”

I can still dramatically remember the way my mother would exclaim, “All I want out of this life is my children to get along before I die!”

Yeah, well that’s not going to happen.

But he did give me a peace offering in the form of two of the most perfect creations ever: my nieces.

I figured out a long time ago that the best thing I’ll ever do with my life is just simply being related to them.  I have the same arrogant attitude towards my nieces as I do my president. Like, “My president can take out the leader of the Taliban with a drone, my president combats climate change — yours?”

But this is just simply the way I take pride in the things that I love.  My only goal in life is to live an existence to where when my time comes and I die, there will be children that stand over my grave and say, “It didn’t matter what I struggled with, it didn’t matter what I did wrong, it didn’t matter what problems I had, my aunt
Candi still thought the sun shined out of my ass.

And I want that to be true.

It’s truly no wonder that people (the haters, stalkers, creepers) don’t like me. I’m a bitch. And I don’t apologize for it. But when you’re related to children as great as the ones I am, it’s difficult not to be.

In case you’re wondering, some of the other perfect creations I’m surrounded with:  Gordon, Katie, Kaylee, Kennedy, Briggs, Presleigh,  Jett, Sawyer, Avery, Emily, Rachel, Samantha — who did I forget? Anybody?

We just kind of make bad ass kids in my family.

And since I won’t ever make kids of my own,  I’ll take credit for all of them. And if that makes me an obnoxious, arrogant bitch…
well, what else would I be?  You’ve seen the kids in my family, right?

Now, get this done, Lady Cougars! Candi needs another reason to kick the obnoxious up a level. Because I’m just sooooo good at it.


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