My brother told me several months ago about an island in Canada that I could move to if Donald Trump gets elected. He said he was talking at
Jmart (yes, small town Southerners hang out where gas is sold) about how people (his sister) was going to have to move to Canada if Donald Trump gets elected because they (me) won’t be able to stand it.
I said, no, I was thinking more about having to move to the looney bin. I don’t particularly like the way Carrie Underwood’s husband talks, I’m not sure I can handle Canada with “hooowse” and “mooouse.” But since I would never leave America, I thought, maybe, I would just move to Washington and lobby to restore sanity to our nation’s capitol.
But given that I don’t think that my heart can take it since I have a mini heart attack every day, I’ve decided that Scotland is probably the best place for me to go if I have to leave. It’s the home of Westies. Where else in the world could be better than the country that gave us West Highland white terriers?
Also, they hate Donald Trump as much as I do.
Look up the documentary ‘You’ve Been Trumped’ on YouTube and give yourself an hour and a half and absolutely watch it. Seriously, watch it! Brexit has me rethinking that move, however, although Scotland voted to stay in the European Union. But, the entire point of this is that I would like to thank the Scottish people for giving me my new Donald Trump insults. My favorite is “weapons grade plum.” I don’t know what a plum is besides something that makes you poop, but it sounds beautifully disparaging. I love you, Scotland!