Donald Trump Called My Memaw.

So… I answer the phone at my grandmother’s today and this guy says, “Is Katherine Mathis there?”

And I said, “Who’s calling, please?”

He said: “This is the ‘Great America’ PAC. May I speak to Katherine Mathis?”

I said:  “No, you may not. She’s 90 years old and she’s not interested in any solicitation calls.”

Then it hit me who he said he was.

The “GREAT” plus “America” PAC.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “Did you say this is a Political PAC?”

“Yes,” he said.

Me:  “Then you can dang sure put her on your ‘Do Not Call List’ and put a note on there that NO, hell no, she doesn’t want to donate to any Republican PAC, and that she wouldn’t give one damn cent to Donald Trump because she thinks he’s a wanker.”

He paused for a second and said,”Excuse me?”

I said, “You heard me.”

He said, “Yes ma’am, I’m sorry to disturb you. We will take her off the call list.”

Then adds, “But by law, I have to tell you that we are not affiliated with any candidate… blah, blah, blah. Yada yada yada, more blah.”

I said something like,  “Well…by law, I’m required to tell you that your “unofficial candidate” Donald Trump is a dumbass and we’re not interested. ”

He promised he wouldn’t call again.


When I hung up the phone, it was very clear by the way my Memaw and Aunt Paula were laughing that I was already her favorite grandkid again.

Every time the phone rang after that — I swear, now — she got excited over the idea that I might get to tell Donald Trump’s people off again.

My life may not be much, cyberspace, but it has never been boring.

Not once.

Here’s the thing…

We get calls from David Shepard (local Democratic politician). We get calls from Barack Obama. We’ll probably get calls from Hillary Clinton. We’re no stranger to political calls from gubernatorial candidates.  Because my grandmother has been a registered Democrat since, like… 19-fucking-42.  And she used to work the polls, faithfully.

The Republican party isn’t even bold enough — let alone dumb enough — to even waste their time (or campaign donations) sending mailers to my address.

Not to mention a registered Democrat since, like…. Harry Truman days.

I know you have the voter registration log when you’re running the phone bank there, Donald Trump’s dawg!

Keep it up, buddy, it’s going to be really colorful evening for you.

Reeeally colorful.


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