On Memaw, Maddow, Terrorism, and Trump.

One of my grandmother’s favorite things, and the only thing that makes her smile anymore, is when I curse out Donald Trump. I’ve already warned most of the extended family and her home health care nurses, that, regardless of your political views, if you come to see “Aunt Kat” or “Mrs Mathis” — you’re probably going to get a lecture on how much she despises Donald Trump if he pops up on her 52-inch television screen.

Or, as she routinely puts it, “There’s a lot of stupid people that will probably vote for that dumb guy.”

For example, when our fave came to visit with their husband last week, and he sat down next to Memaw and right off, she saw Donald Trump on television — Bam! Started giving him an earful.

Now… I didn’t ask, but I have a feeling — given that smirk — that he thinks favorably about BenedictDonald.

But it was cute. He just looked at me and smiled. And Memaw kept ranting.

Gotta love a politically passionate, almost 91-year-old woman.

That’s my bloodline, Burns, and I’m damn proud of it. The only last name; the only family; the only grandmother I’ve got.

I would absolutely love to take credit for brainwashing my Memaw, but the truth is,  I just can’t. Much like my Uncle Chunky and my grandfather, she was born smack dab depression-era. A child who remembers getting a piece of fruit for Christmas in their stocking, who was indebted to Franklin Delano Roosevelt who got the country back on track again. He was a hero to that generation, so she has been voting Democrat since my grandfather was helping fight Hitler. I’d pretend to want to apologize to anybody that she offends,  but the truth is — I’m so proud of her for it, I wouldn’t if I could.

Last night after me telling some of Agent Orange’s assholes off, she was in an especially chipper mood. So I came back to her house to watch our nightly Rachel Maddow Show. (I actually prefer the podcast ALONE with my coffee, but I’ve listened to just about every episode the last three years, and my Memaw likes it. So I indulge. Plus,  cornbread.)

So we set in to watch my show. Or as she calls it “my little friend.”  My grandmother loves Rachel Maddow, now!

In fact, even though my grandmother is sometimes losing her mind and can’t even remember what she did 5 minutes before, she still knows that Rachel Maddow wears black everyday, to the point that she just looked up one day and said, “You know, she ought to just shock the shit out of everybody and just come out wearing a red shirt one day.”

I laughed so hard at her that I almost peed my britches!  Said, “God love you, Memaw. Every time I think I’m ready to take you to Olive Branch, you say something so cute I love you again!”

My Memaw is one of my best friends, so it’s no surprise that she despises Donald Trump. I get my stubbornness from her. Which is odd, because I always thought that I got it from my grandfather. But it’s been revealed — eeek! –that I am just like my grandmother. You can’t make her do anything. The quickest way to get her to not do something is to tell her that she has to. And if you want to see a deadlock, get Cheryl (my mother) to tell her that she has to do something, and she will fight just to spite her. No idea why, she is just that contrary. And that’s where I get it from.

It’s not necessarily a trait I’m proud of — my mother is kind of a superstar — it just is.

So it’s no surprise that even in the late stages of her life, me telling some dude that he’s a dumbass dick (or telling her that Samuel L Jackson called Donald Trump a “Mother f*cker!” before he blocked him on Twitter) is my Memaw’s most favorite thing.

She’s a ride or die Democrat, dawg!

So last night a few hours before Rachel Maddow, we realized the attack in France had happened.
I went on a rant like no other. Shouting at the television and all of these Trump voters that spout about how “Barack Obama can’t keep us safe!”

About those attacks…

Knock on wood now,  but open your flipping eyes! Where do these attacks keep happening? France, twice now. Brussels.  Istanbul. Do you think these ISIS coordinated attacks aren’t happening inside the United States because they don’t want to attack us? Of course not, dumbasses!  It’s because they can’t get here.

The so-called ISIS attacks that have happened inside of the United States, have been lone wolf American citizens, which are no different than any other attack carried out by an American citizen psycho with an assault weapon. We get to, lucky us,  continuously hear Donald Trump spew his verbal vomit about Obama “Can’t keep us safe!” Yet those attacks are not happening in France because they just don’t want to kill Americans.  They happened because they cannot infiltrate inside the United States and  their goal now is to attack any country who is a “friend” of the United States.

And if an Islamic extremist terrorist organization DID enter the United States with the intent on harming our citizens, well, as the rednecks say,  “Obama is spying on you in your Angry Birds!”  So we know what you’re doing before you do it — God help us.

Belgium does not allow surveillance on their citizens, or visitors inside their borders, to the degree that the United States and many other nations does, and that is why they, the terrorists, take harbor there. As well as why the attack happened in Brussels.

While I don’t blame George W Bush or his administration for the September 11th attacks because I don’t believe that that’s what we do as Americans (and I don’t believe that it’s helpful) because I don’t believe that any administration is solely at fault for terrorist attacks, I do not hesitate to point out this:   When was the last time a terrorist actually came into the United States to attack us on our own soil?  9/11.

Nearly nine months into George W Bush’s administration where they downgraded our nation’s only counterterrorism expert. Richard Clarke had served under five presidential administrations, Democrats and Republican, and when he insisted to George W Bush that Bin Laden was plotting an attack inside the United States, he was downgraded for the first time ever. He lost his job. They didn’t want to listen to him. Then 9/11 happen. And what was the Bush administration’s response? To invade a country that didn’t even attack us.

Now the San Bernardino attacks, the Orlando shooting,  the allegedly “ISIS” attacks here in the United States has been an American citizen who was born here — no different than Donald Trump. Yet  ISIS inspired attacks are being carried out in multiple cities abroad, and we  have to listen to twat ramblings of a man who is simply seeking to get elected for personal power, that has no business doing the job — nor does he have the knowledge to do so — telling us that “Barack Obama can’t keep us safe.”

It blows my mind and angers me to a level that was I was shouting so bad at the television last night that my grandmother started laughing and saying, “You’d better set down and take your blood pressure.”

Then she laughed her grandkid laugh because she truly loves that I have a spike in BP every time I talk about Donald Trump.

I’m glad joking about my death gives her a tickle.

It’s okay, America, to have difference of opinions. What’s not okay is to pretend that you know shit that you don’t know and risk our own damn safety in doing so.Donald Trump is a man that tells Chuck Todd he’s ready to be commander-in-chief of the world’s most powerful military because he “watches the morning shows.”

Guess what, Donald Trump?  So do I.  In fact, I haven’t missed many years of Sunday morning political shows since 1992.

And as much as I study, I don’t know that I could list every country in the Middle East on a blank map. And if you actually think Donald Trump could,  you should probably get off social media and go back to snorting whatever foreign substance it is you’re presently putting up your nose. And if you genuinely believe that that knowledge doesn’t matter for a presidential candidate, do the nation a favor and just don’t vote. For the love of our forefathers, spare us all and stay away from the polls!

Dear God, how did we reach a time in American society where we believe it’s okay for our leaders to be dumb?

I study this stuff consistently, repeatedly, and for years. Yet when Rukmini Calamachi with the New York Times — ISIS and Al Qaeda expert — writes a piece, I have to read it three times and I still say to myself in my Eric Berry voice:  “Dafuq did I just read?”

This is hard stuff. There are people that have been studying this longer than I have been alive, and they all concur Donald Trump has been punking the American people out, and you all are so ridiculous that you’re still proudly falling for it.  You, Trump nation, are so ridiculously gullible, I can only imagine that your house is stuffed with gadgets you bought on the infomercial when they told you:  “You must call now!”

I’m a bright girl, but the idea that I am more knowledgeable than our potential future commander-in-chief,  terrifies the piss out of me.

Do you remember 9/11?

Please tell me again how Barack Obama can’t keep us safe, but don’t tell me in a Donald Trump-toned way where he pretend to criticize George W Bush, blaming him for the attacks, after he was praising George W Bush back in the 2000s post-disastrous invasion. The Bushes are tremendous people. But George W Bush’s administration was a painful and disastrous colossal failure because his ego was bigger than his brain and he refused to listen to the people around him who knew more than he did. And when they wouldn’t be quiet, he fired them.

Who the hell does that remind you of?

Every time you see an attack on your screen, remember that.

Donald Trump is a far bigger threat to this nation than George W Bush ever could have been, and we lost close to 3,000 in 9/11 and almost 7,000 in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Now all I see is Republicans on  the television screen telling me that we need more soldiers in Syria; we need more troops in the Middle East.

It’s a talking point to win elections and it sickens me. They are not Gotdamn boots on the ground — they are American lives. And we should not send them to die just because they are willing to do it for us!
I, and every other sane thinking  American, are tired of sending men and women to die for a war that’s not our own.  Not one more soldier!  Not one more American life!  ISIS is not attacking us here at home, and why should we send one more father, one more son, one more mother, one more daughter to come back in a body bag with an American flag draped coffin to fight a war that’s not ours — that will never end, that we didn’t start.

And you ungrateful asshats make sure, if you’re going to vote for Donald Trump, that you have your children sign up for the military before you do.  Because when somebody insults its — he’s not even worthy of human pronouns, at this point — fragile little ego and we hand IT, a man who can’t even handle a Twitter account,  nuclear launch codes, I want to make sure that you have your children, your spouse, your nieces and nephews in line to die first.

Because I am sick and tired of war.

And I’m sick and tired of funding unnecessary  killing of American lives when we cannot fund education.

Not one more American life given in a war that’s not ours.

Not. One. More.

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