Love Advice From a Left-Winger.


(Hey rednecks, take note: Women like good-looking men. This is not difficult.)

All of you single men out there looking for love, let me give you a piece of advice. If you ask a woman — let me be clear, a white woman — a question along the lines of “so have you ever dated a black guy” or “do you date black guys,” be prepared for  any semi-educated female who reads above third grade comprehension, has access to the world’s information, and lives in the 21st century, to delete you from her contacts or remove you from her social circle. And here’s what the proper answer to such a ridiculously insulting and asinine question such as “Have you ever dated a black guy?” would be  when posed to MOST white women:  “Well, no.  Not yet, because Eddie George never called me.”

And my response to being called “a n-word lover” online, is always:  “Oh, you bet. In fact,  you tell your mama when she gets done with Matt Kemp, she can just send him on over and I’ll love on that n**** all night.”

Because nothing makes a racist man mad faster than admitting that you would: a) willingly bed a black man; b) coupled with saying that his mom  would.

And that she’d like it.

This is 2016 and if you still see color, you’re a reject who doubles as a stain on the human population. And if you still say things like “we should stick with our own kind” — you’re ridiculous.

That’s like saying short people should only marry short people. And I can tell you, Kenny Chesney aside, I have no intention of marrying a short man. What’s the point?  How else would I reach stuff on the top shelf — and isn’t that the whole idea behind  marriage?

Because I’m sure as heck not giving up my last name.

It’s okay for some women to only be attracted to chocolate skin. It’s okay for some women, like me, to constantly be attracted to bald, white guys with blue eyes and a pretty smile. And even more upsetting for some of you, it’s okay for some women to be attracted to women.   You like what you like.  

What’s not okay, what has never been okay,  and what will never be okay, is to see a skin tone and not a person.

If you still relegate portions of the population into a group that you can’t be attracted to because of societal bias, then you’re part of the problem. And you really mother f–king need a higher power.

Try Jesus.


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