Over the years, so many people have told me, “Girl, I crack up at the ‘you and Memaw’ post, y’all are a hoot!”
Well…I had a good one earlier. Tonight, we were watching one of the Jeopardy episodes that I TiVo, and I don’t remember what the question was but I shouted “what is Euphrates” for the ‘answer’. The contestant says, “What is Euphrates.”
It was correct.
She sat there for a minute, looked at me and said, “What did you say?”
I said, Euphrates.
She got a puzzled look on her face for a minute and said, “Now, how do you know that?”
I said: “Well, they’re called books, Memaw, and sometimes people in other families use them for things other than a coaster.”
So then she started keeping up with every answer I got right.
I don’t know if she was proud or trying to prove me wrong.
She’d say, “You got that one… you got that one.”
When we got to the end of the game, she said, “How do you know all of those?”
I said, “It’s hard having a grandkid so damn smart, isn’t it?”
She sat still for a second and as sarcastic as she possibly could, said, “Well, I guess I manage alright…”
Haha! Burn from my Memaw!
Then a commercial came on for Donald Trump saying, “Call now and pledge your support for Trump. Press one if you’d like to pledge allegiance to Trump in this election.”
I said (to the tv, of course), “Well, what do I press if I want to tell that rambling twat to kiss my big Democratic off-white ass?”
She thought that was hysterical. I swear, she got excited over the idea of me actually calling and telling them that! I tell you what, my grandmother drives me crazy, but when she’s in her right mind, I do have fun with her. I don’t know why I love her so much — she’s so bossy — but I just do. She can be a bigger nut than me.
For example, somebody from town had passed away, I asked her, “He was like your age though, wasn’t he?” (Meaning, almost 91.)
She said, “Oh, Lord no, he’s old!”
Lol. That’s the Memaw I know.