The Best Sobriety Present I Ever Received: My Twinkie Loves.

My sobriety date is August 15th. The year doesn’t matter. But let’s say, it’s been a few.

That was a day — coming to in a  jail cell I don’t remember ending up in,  being told that I was arrested for DUI and trespassing, when I wasn’t trying to get arrested for trespassing, I was trying to get arrested for assault and battery but the cheating son of a bitch wouldn’t open the door — I entered into an agreement with God.  Where he told me that if I would surrender to him — regardless of what comes; regardless of how hard it is; regardless of what I would lose; regardless of how lost I felt, how much I missed my life or who would leave me; regardless of how much it hurts, of how they persecute me; no matter what they say about me;  no matter what life does; and, the big one, no matter who dies — that one vice that carried me through it all, alcohol, then He would bring things to pass that I never imagined. That I would see dreams come true that I couldn’t wrap my mind around. Miracles I couldn’t measure. A future I couldn’t fathom.

Some years, to me,  that meant Kenny Chesney.  Others, it was a Sony writing contract. Some, like today,  it’s Matt Kemp or Cory Booker. But  mostly, on the sane days, it’s simply my own success with something as simple as peace of mind.

Still, the years came and went, the book deal — or even the clarity of mind — didn’t, but I clung hard to the promise that God made me that no matter what came at me, if I would hold up my end of the deal,  I would have treasures untold.

Four years ago, those treasures came to me in a set of twins that made my life worthwhile.  They were born on the same day, but years after, their Can Can gave up alcohol. I will never be able to repay or to express what those sweet babies mean to me. No matter how tired, no matter how far down, no matter what they put me through the week before — twinkie love hell! — I always got up (at 6 a.m.) with gratitude in my heart because of their faces.

They were — are — the joy in my life and the song in my heart.

Happy 4th birthday to one of the many reasons I know that God never gave up on me, and to a gift that I will never be able to repay — the joy of spending everyday with my twin lovies, Avery and Emily.

And, thank you to their mommy and daddy for sharing their lives with me. I don’t know that I will ever be able to say what they mean to me.

Only that when I used to look in over their cribs and sing, “Baby, you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and crooooouise…” and watch their sweet little faces smile and their little legs kick, I knew that God had made good on his promise to give me things that I could not see.

The day Emily, barely able to say a few words at all, toddled up to me, pointed her sweet little finger at my t-shirt, looked up with those big cheeks and eyes and sounded out “O-bam-a!” and the days Avery pointed at every football player she’d see and shout, “Jalen Hurd!” were days my life got good.

I may never see the Senate, the New York Times Best Sellers list, or the top of the BillBoard charts. Clay Matthews may never come calling — but this Can Can is cool with that. In “my” many children, I’ve been blessed more than anyone deserves.

Happy Fourth Birthday to Can Can’s heart!

“Touchdown, Big Orange!”  to Avery and “Go, Cardinal Birds, Em!”

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