Ryan Lochte: International Dumbass of the Day. Or… Decade.


Initially, I defended Ryan Lochte. Not because I thought he was innocent, or because I necessarily thought he was telling the truth, but because I think that this culture of guilty-until-proven innocent that has overtaken American society, particularly on social media, is dangerous. And because I’m not too keen on giving the benefit of the doubt to a country that allows you to pay your way out of trouble. While in America we often receive fines from the courts,  it’s generally in lieu of or in addition to jail time.  It’s not in exchange for charges or to escape prosecution in the first place. Unlike Brazil, where for the right amount of money, you can evade legal proceedings by the government altogether. And given the crime in Brazil and the fact that other athletes were robbed at gunpoint and that it seemed highly unlikely that four athletes would collaborate and agree to lie for each other (and for no good reason),  I thought we should wait until all the evidence comes out before we crucify Ryan Lochte on social media.

Now, it’s quite apparent that he’s just a privileged dumbass. Someone who wrecked a bathroom, too drunk to figure out how to open the door, and then lies to his Mama unnecessarily at 32-goshdamn-years-old — which led to an international fiasco — is a global damn embarrassment who personifies the worst in American society. You add that to the candidacy of Donald Trump and it’s not hard to see why some countries don’t have sympathy for Americans as a whole.

Thanks for being a shit stain on America, Ryan Lochte.

Next time you go underwater, try inhaling some.  There’s no way it could do any damage to your brain — and at this point, it appears any alteration might, actually, be an improvement.


I mean… Lochte, you look like this, you swim like that, and yet you act like… well, Ryan Lochte. What the hell is wrong with you?

Candice Mathis


Candi is a lifelong reader, writer, Democrat, and kid keeper. She lives in Middle Tennessee and rants coast to coast.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s