This White Girl’s Just Getting Warmed Up!

As a good liberal Democrat, I adore Unions. But I’ve long since maintained that I have actually met one Union that I dislike. It’s police unions. They aren’t a Union as much as a cult that excuses brutality and murder. I’ve never once seen a single police union stand and say, “Well that was wrong, that guy should never have been a cop!” and that attitude is exactly why we’re in the situation that we’re even. Cops aren’t bad. Of course not. That’s always the sentiment thrown at you by some right-wing nut job — you hate cops, little girl!  Really? My step brother is a County Sheriff’s deputy and has worked as a member of SWAT. I hate my step-brother? I never knew that. I kind of always liked him more than the real one. That’s good to know, Conservatives. Thanks!

* eye roll *

It’s also ridiculous to tell any woman that she hates cops. Single women hates cops? Are you saying this with a straight face — I can’t see, it’s the internet.

Have you ever seen a good looking officer in a police uniform? Who in the hell hates that!? 

In fact, I remember one of the best-looking cops I’ve ever known, when I met him years ago, he was giving our liquored up, young behinds a ride, and he said: ” I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to frisk you, Miss Mathis.” 

I said, “Oh, I wish you would, big boy — you’re hot, sir!”

He got so embarrassed he, momentarily, couldn’t do his job. But after we all sobered up, we did end up exchanging phone numbers. We actually became friends. He’s still a hot cop to this day. Swear!

Never tell a woman she hates a man in uniform. Never.  What’s next?

She hates firefighters, too?

Give me a break, Sean Hannity Jr.

Why Are You So Intimidated By Black Men, White People?

I’m starting to see a pattern, here.

I have seen veterans very vocally defending Kaepernick’s right, even if they don’t like what he did, and saying, “That’s exactly why I served.  For his right to feel how he feels and to keep this country different than North Korea.” 

I’ve seen conservatives that are still vocally in denial about hating black people, angry and telling him to shut up and play football.  I, personally, don’t understand why this is so complicated. Don’t mistake my words:  I hate that Trump sign in your yard. But what I love is that I live in a country where you can display it. It’s the same thing with Colin Kaepernick. And of all the reactions I expected, I didn’t expect, and maybe I should have,  a police union in San Francisco to come out with “black on black” crime.

First of all, I shouldn’t have to tell police officers that it’s not “black on black”  or even white on white crime,  it’s just called crime. Using a murder between drug dealers or two gang members to justify why a law enforcement officer that has been entrusted to protect and serve the community guns down an unarmed black man SEVENTEEN FUCKING TIMES and then gets away with it, is exactly why Colin Kaepernick is standing out the anthem in the first place.

Jesus, San Francisco police, could you try to at least attempt to minimize the amount you mimic someone like David Duke in your public statements.  You don’t even bat a “black people kill black people” eye at reading from Bill O’Reilly’s hate-coated script.

Because, see, you want to pay attention to the really important part and that was “and gets away with it.”

When Ray-Ray kills Tyrone, Ray-Ray goes to the pen for 25 to life. It’s still murder when a white cop guns down an unarmed white victim unnecessarily. It’s still  unjustified murder. It’s still sickening. And it’s still an outrage.  The difference is  that we live in a nation where the justice system — society even — seems to excuse it when it’s a person of color being gunned down by one who is not. Because we still, instinctively, search for a reason the black man needed to get shot. It’s not always even a black man, it can be a black child. Tamir Rice was a child playing in the park with the same type of toy that my cousin shot his own mother with when we were little, and he was murderd in a matter of seconds by a cop who had already been kicked off of one police force, should never have had a badge,  and will never face accountability.  John Crawford was a man gunned down in Walmart — and white people still believe these two souls needed to die for no damn reason other than their skin color.  You have any and every celebrity, thanks to social media, that thinks they have an opinion, and that’s their right — the only time I care is when (like Craig Morgan and his pro-gun love fest in the wake of Orlando) it’s irresponsible. We want Kaepernick, DWade, Lebron, Natalie Maines, and any celebrity whose opinion doesn’t jive with white people to just shut up and (insert talent), but we cheerlead somebody like Tony Stewart, who ripped a page straight from Donald Trump’s playbook titled “How To Show The World It Is Possible To Be White Trash AND Have Money.”

Now… About The Clinton Foundation, Conservatives

And while I’m telling the conservative white people on the internet off, let me go ahead and shatter this one, as well. Because I’m sick of having to do this every day.  (And yes, I’m talking to you too, Bernie or Bust bro.) 

Do not come at me with where Bill and Hillary Clinton received the funds to do the life-changing work that they’ve done across the Earth, hollering that “the Clinton Foundation took donations from Qatar or Saudi Arabia” or countries that have a record of mistreatment against gay individuals and women, and then turned around and used those donations to better the lives of women and children, or further the status of the fight for gay rights across the globe.

Because my response will always be:  “So freaking what?”

Your argument comes down to this.

Let’s say I stumble upon a suffering village of women and children. Then a man who we all know likes to hit his wife comes to me and, whether it was guilt induced or a tax write-off, offered me $32 million to improve their lives.  Let me get this straight… I’m supposed to look at these children dying of diseases that a $0.39 vaccine can eradicate,  watch women struggle with things like simply providing clean, safe drinking water for their offspring, and then look at a man offering me $32 million to improve their living conditions and say, “It wouldn’t be right to take your money to improve the lives of women across the globe, because sometimes, late at night,  you like to beat your wife.”

Are you stoned!? Do you live in a state where it’s legal to smoke marijuana? How the actual fuck is that not perfect revenge?

You can’t seriously believe that, so-called Christians.

And if you do, if you actually subscribe to something that ridiculous, you illustrate exactly why Washington is in the shape that it’s in.  Because you vote for the type of “Christian” people like Ted Cruz who would set the capitol on fire and starve babies just for the right of being able to say, “God bless the great state of Texas, and at least I didn’t give in to the black guy! Yee haw!””

I don’t give a damn what country, what man, what billionaire that Hillary Clinton took donations from to do the life-saving work of providing antiviral medication to Pediatric AIDS patients throughout the planet — work that has received an A rating from Charity Watch — what I do care about something is called The Carter Center,  as well as the aforementioned Clinton Foundation.

Maybe you’ve heard of them, Republicans? It’s what our presidents do once they leave office.

I care about those powerhouses for Global change. And I care to see what Barack Obama will do when he leaves office. Or, as I read it best in the New York Times:  Jimmy Carter wrote the book on post-Presidency;  Bill Clinton turned it into encyclopedias.

I have a feeling that Barack Obama is about to make the internet up outta that shit.

Yes, GOP, your party runs around promoting capitalism;  stripping funding for victims, medical research, and the underprivileged; helping the rich get richer; our presidents create foundations that do billions of dollars worth of work across the globe. Should I get started on the achievements of Kennedy Center? Or the contributions their family has given the world — like Special Olympics or the Peace Corps?  Our presidents create foundations that change lives (Carter, Clinton). They’re winning Nobel Peace prizes (Carter and Obama). They’re not just quoting the words of a man, one whose actions they cannot seem to even comprehend, they’re actually living it. All one has to do, any given day of the week,  is take a look at the living presidents that represented the Democratic party and the good that they bring to this world every single day to see which party truly does the work of Jesus Christ.

And now, we have the same party angry because a football player wants to stand up,or refuse to stand up, in protest in a place where people like my granddaddy and his Daddy — who, like many of yours, served in World War 1 World War 2 — taught me that Kaepernick has the right to make an idiot of himself if he feels like it. But there are still people in this world that seem to believe that he doesn’t, simply because what he’s speaking out for is the mistreatment of minorities by those in power. And the same ones angry at Kaepernick, denying his right, and demanding he leave the country, are the same ones calling themselves “patriots.”

That, the ludicrous actions of some white people, is why he’s sitting in the first place.

Rednecks, try this tactic: Read more, talk (or Tweet) less.

Colin Kaepernick is America at its finest, like it or not:

About That “Black On Black” Crime:

Colin Kaepernick has a message, why are you so afraid to listen:

Candice Mathis


Candi is an enthusiastic Hell-raiser for Hillary; coffee drinker; Tennessee Vols fan. She schooled a Trump supporter and she liked it. Catch her @CandiMathis on Twitter.


When God Commanded Me To Love My Neighbor, I Didn’t Think He Was Just Kidding

Out driving with my aunt Paula to get a cup of joe at the Dunkin Donuts by the interstate, we saw a homeless man. Now, as one who did a stint of driving with a  boyfriend to White House everyday, I know those “homeless”  guys at the two local exits are scams. But this man had had a leg amputated, was clearly  homeless, dirty, sad. And he looked pitiful. And my aunt Paula stated crying.

So… I got out to give him $5.

As someone who has spent time around twelve step programs and recovery centers, working with and getting to know alcoholics and addicts, I know the worst thing you can do is give an addict cash. And when I got out to give this gentleman the cash, he was trembling and in poor health. If I had to guess, he was suffering from the DTs or the after effects of crack.

I just kept thinking about that magical night in that Music City BallRoom, shaking hands with one of the founders of the first Alcoholics Anonymous groups in Akron, Ohio, an almost ninety-year-old woman who got sober with Bill Wilson, and as I shook hands with her, I asked her: “Ma’am, how did this little girl from Nowhere, Tennessee, get lucky enough to meet one of the original members of a program that has sobered over two billion worldwide?” 

She looked in my eyes and said, “By the grace of God, honey, and don’t you forget it.”

Now this man, this poor suffering soul on the side of the roadway, looked old enough to be  a Vietnam vet, and I don’t know if he lost his leg to an accident or in service to his country.  I just know that when I saw him, I saw someone — a soul, a child of God — who was suffering. I thought about how all  alcoholics and addicts are someone’s children; someone’s sibling.

I knew $5 wasn’t enough to do much damage if it went — and it probably did — towards alcohol or drugs, but the Lord says whatever you do to the least of thee, you do to me.

And it continuously reminds me that the party that talks about entitlements and “welfare queens” — with the biggest welfare recipients being corporate welfare with tax evasion and those politicians that draw six-figure salaries and do nothing — are somehow, ironically, the same party that seems to claim Christ.

That’s not the God I know.

We can help and treat addiction in this country if we really wanted to. That would involve your actually loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself, instead of just talking about it at election time and on Sunday morning — right before you go out and vote for politicians that strip down any programs that actually help those that you claim to love.

Of all the reasons I am a proud Democrat, it’s because of love for my country, my fellow countrymen, and the complete and total respect for, and acknowledgement of,  this principle thought:   That no man is an island.

God isn’t some magical voice that speaks down from the heavens, he works through us; through each other. You can’t claim to know God, to love God, to do his work,  and then turn your back on his greatest commandment: To love each other.

And while we’re wallowing in homophobia and gay shaming and worrying so much about something God said so little about — being gay — we ignore in a big way the thing God said so much about.  Love.

Candice Mathis


Candi is a lifelong reader, writer Democrat, and kid keeper. She drinks coffee at midnight and schools Gators fans for fun. Catch her @CandiMathis on Twitter.

The Only Painful Part About Being Single Is Other People’s Stupidity

It always angers me when people act like just because I don’t have a family now that I ‘ll never have one. When you see people and they say, “Won’t you regret not having kids?” or you talk about one day adopting them and they act like, “Oh that’s cute,  but dumb little Candi,  you will never have a family.”  In fact, my brother even told me one day at my Memaw’s, “Oh, you will never get married, you might as well give that up.”  Well, and you’ll never be smarter than me so give that up, too.

I always wanted to be somebody before I was somebody’s wife. Or somebody’s mother. I always wanted to write a book, speak fluent Spanish, before I had kids. And I always wanted to adopt them. Who’s to say I still won’t? I hate it when people treat me like my life is over or my dreams are over — because they’re not to me — just because you hadn’t popped out children by 26.

Which seems to be a small town requirement.

So, stop saying stupid stuff to single people just because they chose a different life than you.

My whole point of this wasn’t to rant at stupid questions asked at Dunkin Donuts, but to make a declaration.  When you get my age, you’ve seen people name  their kids just about every name that you have ever liked. And since people keep having kids in my family, these are my names for my adopted children that you will never ever steal (or I will cut you)  — since you’ve taken so many other ones.

Ahhhm, Kennedy, Katherine — which I’m glad about because they’re perfect.

Since nobody else wants these anyway, I think they’re safe, but still… this is my declaration. You cannot have my names!

Chesney, Manning, Roosevelt, Summitt, Mandela, McNair.

Maybe, Clara or Coretta.

They all have a back story of perseverance behind the name of the inspiration. (Except Clara, it’s family.)  And they are all mine.


As you now were, married people…

Candice Mathis

Candi is a lifelong reader, writer, Democrat, and kid keeper. She drinks coffee at midnight and schools men on sports. Follow her @CandiMathis on Twitter.

It’s Time To Put Country Over Party.


What does being American mean to you? To me, it means a multitude of things. Mostly, it means that anyone that loves this country doesn’t have to love what you say, but we have to fight for your right to say it. Now, that doesn’t mean that people don’t get the First Amendment confused. They absolutely do. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean that I  can say anything I want with absolutely no consequences. The Supreme Court has ruled on this.  Freedom of speech crosses the line when you stand up in a crowded movie theater and yell fire.

That also doesn’t mean that if I call my boss a jerk, while I’m absolutely “free” to do that,  I’m not guaranteed I won’t get fired.

Freedom of speech simply means that I’m not going to be stoned to death or burned in the middle of town square for criticizing the government. That’s freedom of speech. And while I will absolutely defend your right to fly a Confederate flag on your property or on your vehicle, I absolutely defend my right to follow you into the gas station to tell you why you’re an offensive, ignorant, and arrogant illiterate. I often do.

And that’s completely different than flying the clothed emblem of slavery and oppression on public property. Just as you’re free to fly the universal sign for someone who received their “history lesson” off the back of spring break t-shirt in Alvin’s Island in your yard, kids of color should be free to go to school without the symbol of those who went to war to continue owning their ancestors, also.

Being American means many things. It means that while there’s insane money in politics that we need to remove, my vote is also still not for sale. And that no amount of money, no amount of Koch brothers and independent billionaires running for election, can buy the presidency if citizens don’t go into the the voting booth and cast a ballot for them. That is the most precious right of all in the United States.  And of course, being an American means patriotism.

But we’ve seen “patriotism” take on irrational forms of late. The party that claims to care about war heroes and drapes themselves continuously in the American flag — as if that is somehow the measure of how much someone loves their nation — now has a nominee for the highest office in the land who insults the mother and father of a soldier who made the ultimate sacrifice. That’s not what patriotism looks like to me.

That’s not what patriotism and the self-professed party of Christ looks like to the majority of Americans.

No matter how old my grandmother gets, no matter what she forgets, she never forgets to monitor that American flag out in her yard.  To see if it’s tattered, to see if it’s torn.  And when it is, nothing will stop her until she gets it replaced. This weekend I put up a new one for her, and if you’ve never seen somebody that’s not even 5 foot tall try to take down the American flag, fold it, and put up another one without allowing it to touch the ground — it was almost a YouTube fail-worthy  sight. But I did it.

That’s patriotism.

But patriotism also means that while I will not even allow an American flag to touch the ground in honor of men like my grandfather who served in the Navy, the Army and the National Guard, being an American citizen with all its complicated requirements,  also means I defend your right to burn it in protest.

Now, I think that you are an ungrateful and disgusting person who’s not worthy of the citizenship of America or the men and women who fight for you if you chose to do so, and if a soldier wanted to go toe-to-toe with you the Walmart parking lot, I think we’d all contribute to his bail, but the freedom of expression in America means you have to allow freedom of expression that you find disgusting so long as it’s not done on any government or public property.

If you want to burn a flag in your yard, as sickening as that is, in America, you cannot subscribe to the demand that the symbol of a free nation be  something as small as fabric.

That’s patriotism. That’s honor for the United States Constitution.

Patriotism means that if I don’t agree with gay marriage, I recognize the right that, here in the United States, we are not governed by any religion and that everyone has a right to  privileges that I may not approve of, so that I can enjoy the ones that I do.  America means so many things to so many people, and underneath that diverse tapestry is a layer that unites us all. And I don’t see any part of that shared unity represented in the Republican nominee for president of the United States.

It’s time to put country over party.

This is an election for the soul of our country. Democrat or Republican, we have to ask ourselves — what kind of nation are we? Is the party of Abraham Lincoln now really the Party of Donald Trump? From Dwight Eisenhower to a man who insults the memory and the family of men like Captain Khan? I know that there are still honorable men and women in the GOP. It’s time to stand up, y’all. You’ve allowed this to go on long enough. We are Americans before we are anything. It’s time to remember that.

Make America Great Again, my foot.

We are and always have been the land of opportunity. Or, as they say, the home of the free because of the brave. Let’s act like it.

And our brave deserve a Commander-in-Chief who doesn’t mock a five year prisoner of war — one who refused his own release unless his fellow POWS could be released with him — for being captured in the first place. While simultaneously having received medical deferments to escape service to his nation for a boo-boo on his foot.

Donald Trump is unworthy of our military’s honor and their sacrifice.

Candice Mathis


Candi is a lifelong reader, writer, Democrat, and kid keeper. She drinks coffee at midnight and schools Gators fans for fun. Catch her @CandiMathis on Twitter.