First Presidential Debate 2016

I just feel this incredibly profound sense of loss and sadness. I expected to giggle a little bit.  You would think that would be your reaction when someone says something so ridiculous like Hillary Clinton has spent her entire adult life fighting ISIS — when ISIS, roughly,  is the same age as Chipper. (Now, to be fair, it is a derivative of al-Qaeda and they’re a little older than my cat, obviously. But 50? Ha!) You would think I would enjoy that. But I just sat there with my hands over my face in humiliation.  And in embarrassment for the United States of America.  It was like Sarah Palin on steroids.

I’m sure you’ve read the words of Trump supporters that he really “gave it to her on trade.” When he did he talk about trade, it was with no plausible solution.  His policy on trade is like that man that sets down next to you at the bar and says, “Hey baby, I can make your life better. Why don’t you let me try?”

And you come back with something along the lines of: “I own my own home, my own car, got money in the bank, and I know how to use a power tool. How are you going to make my life better?”

The answer was usually something raunchy, nonsensical, and nothing you hadn’t heard before. That’s Trump on trade. As usual his diagnosis is not only minus a solution, it’s not even backed up by study or fact.

Correlation is not cause. Trump can spout shit and point fingers with regard to NAFTA,  but the general consensus is NAFTA had less of a negative impact on industrial production and manufacturing within the United States than did innovation, slave labor wages, and our lack of investment in trends and technology — which all had more to do with jobs going overseas than trade agreements.

Not only that, NAFTA — North American Free Trade Agreement –only deals with North America, Donald. That’s Canada and Mexico. Which has nothing to do with places like China and Philippines — where manufacturers (like Donald Trump and his clothing line) actually makes this stuff on the cheap and ship it in.

You know who is the number one exporter of goods we make here in the United States, Trump?
Mexico. And that’s in North America, twat.  That falls under NAFTA. Which means the top number of goods that we make here in the United States — which translates to production jobs — are sold to Mexico.

There are political nerds and policy wonks like me that’s been waiting four years for last night. And the GOP owes us an apology. There wasn’t any legit points that I could pick out about what Trump spewed on stage.  Unlike McCain and Romney,  it wasn’t a rigorous discussion on the political procedures, proposals, and processes inside of the greatest country on Earth. It was a shitstorm.  It was Donald Trump verbally abusing America, inner cities, and our nation’s livelihood and vitality. It was mind-numbing, it was embarrassing, and it was insane. The most hurtful part was that half of the country saw that and still believes that man is worthy of being president, or that he did a good job.

I didn’t know that many of us were so stupid or soul sick.

And when a billionaire stands on a presidential debate stage and brags that not paying federal taxes makes him smart, while simultaneously claiming to support the troops that he doesn’t even like funding, it’s a gut wrenching day for America.


You Know What They Say, America? Once You Go Black…

It still baffles me that people blame the racial division in this country on the president. Because that makes more sense than the fact that racist white people had to watch a brown man become the leader of the Free World and they’re losing their ever-loving small minds over it.

Example: Best actor in Hollywood? Denzel Washington. Black.

Best sitcom on regular television? Blackish. Again, black.

Best television writer?  Shonda Rhimes, black.

Best pop star? Beyonce.  Black.

It was hard enough on the racists to make it through an unprecedented era where the best golfer was black. I mean, it was brutal, man! Tiger Woods was threatening to ruin the integrity of entire game with that fist pump.

And now? Sheesh!

The president? Uh, Black.

Attorney General of the United States? Black. Consecutively.

Sitting MVP of the NFL? That’s gotta be a quarterback — at least we got a white guy there, right? Cam Newton, black.

Current quarterback of the Crimson Tide — as in, state university of one of the two most racist states in the nation — black.

What’s the other?  Mississippi. Who just finished Dak PreScott under center.  Yep, black.

Gay marriage? Legal. Everywhere.

I’m sure it’s Obama and black people that are so angry though,  right?

* eye roll *

And now, they’re —  rage filled racist white people — just now figuring out that they can no longer kill a black man with a badge just because they feel like it and get away with it. And they’re madder than hell over that,  too.

That’s how you get a Donald Trump presidential candidacy, kids.

Recent polls show over 60% are “concerned” over Hillary’s handling of Iraq, Libya, Syria.

My response? At least she can locate those countries on a map! There’s only one characteristic or “qualification” of Donald Trump that appeals to his followers. And it’s his racist mouth.

Tell the truth, now…

Hey, Trump: Rebuild THIS!

Everytime I hear Donald Trump or one of his surrogates use the phrase “rebuild our military,” I want to punch a Republican in the face.

Do they know any of our men and women in uniform? They are the finest the world has ever known, and they are not now,  nor have they ever been, weak, downgraded, or ineffective. We spend more on our military than the next handfuls of nations combined.

Do you know the last time any nation attacked us directly? Pearl Harbor.

You know why? Hiroshima.

That’s not to say that what we did at Hiroshima and Nagasaki is anything to be proud of,  or even right — because God knows it  was anything but — however, it was what we felt was necessary to end the war, and it changed the course of history in many ways. Since, our dominance has never been questioned. Tested. Or tried.  Not once.

And it should inflict pain in the heart of every American to see anyone, particularly a presidential candidate, insult the men and women that put their lives on the line every single day just to defend the freedoms of the most beautiful and privileged and protected nation on Earth. So, Donald Trump,  as Jack Nicholson said, “I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand post,”  or — as Samuel L Jackson would say, “I’m tired of that mother f-cking mouth on that mother f-cking man running all the mother f-cking time!” — shut up.

I LOOOOVE Black People: Why Donald Trump Will Not See The Oval Office

I don’t know who killed JonBenet Ramsey. I don’t know if the Vols will beat Florida on Saturday (it depends on which Tennessee team shows up). I don’t know if the Titans will win more than 2 games this season. My heart won’t let me formulate an estimation on when Yadier Molina will retire. I don’t know why Florida State got blown out by 50 (or how), or why Ole Miss seems to be the only team in the country that can get something over on Alabama. But I know this: Donald Trump will not be elected president of United States.

I know that in the near 16 months I have spent consuming this in my every waking moment, I have discovered one glaringly fundamental difference between surrogates for other candidates that verbally spar with Trump supporters and surrogates of other candidates — particularly Hillary Clinton supporters– of color who spar with Trump surrogates. Those of color are noticeably angry when the subject of Donald Trump is approached.

I’ve written many times about how you cannot win the White House without carrying 40% of the Latino vote — the reason that George W. Bush was able to win the popular vote in one such ection (2004) is because he did. And that’s rare for a Republican, and almost unheard of for today’s brand of Build-A-Wall Republican. That 40% of Latino doesn’t count for votes of color. Meaning: There are just not enough racist white people to win elections. Voters of color — be they black or brown — are angry at Donald Trump. Understandably so.

Donald Trump has spent 5 years slandering, smearing, and attempting to de-legitimize the president of the United States. Insinuating that he’s not actually American — which is a racially coated charge held by white people that goes back to the way we as a nation treated people of color since the arrival at Jamestown.

How the hell do you treat the nation’s first African American president with such BS and bigotry, and then expect to seek election to the nation’s highest office?

Now, Trump attempts to gloss  over it. Skip it. Or “move on” as Kellyanne Conway claims. Donald Trump’s can’t take back his birtherism claims anymore than Jenny McCarthy can take back her vaccine nonsense. The time for that was years ago.

In other terms:  It’s too late now, hoss!  You’ve done real damage. And we’re — the sane portion of the population — mad as hell.

The Obama Coalition, that handed one of the soundest defeats seen in presidential elections in recent memory  (there’s only been a few)  to John McCain, will, make no mistake,  rally. I don’t care what people — and by that, I mean pundits — say. I don’t care what polls say. If polls predicted presidents,  we’d have a President Landon, President Dukakis, President Romney.  I care what happens when you piss change-makers off. Don’t underestimate the power of seeing President Obama tell his base that if they want to give him a good send off, they’ll get out and vote for Hillary Clinton.

President Obama remains tremendously popular among those that love him — and, bear in political mind, they were enough to elect him twice. They’re very loyal to President Obama; appreciative of Obama; and when the president speaks, they listen.

The majority of American voters are not going to witness the three presidential debate with Donald Trump verbally vomiting fabricated spoken upchuck and Hillary Clinton speaking in that elusive and increasingly effervescent tongue of truth (and fact) and make the ridiculous choice. Americans are smarter than that.

The electoral map is laid out in favor of a Democrat, it would take a strong, sound, sane Republican to break through that and Donald Trump can’t even break through to his own party. I refuse to accept that I live in a nation that can subscribe to the belief that a man that knows absolutely zero about government is the best equipped to lead it. That’s naive nonsense.

The cherry on the election sundae? Even if the white people were ridiculous enough to soak up that shit speech Donald Trump spits everytime he opens that hole in his spray tan face, black people.

Yes, black people. Black people are here to save the day. Don’t ever get complacent, white supremacist — which means, Trump voters — over the power of what black people are able to do when rallied.  And black people are going to come out in droves to save this election. 

So, white people who read above a grade school level, which means any of you not voting for Trump,  you should take the time to turn to a black person next to you and say,  “Thank you!”

Thank you for music, thank you for sports, thank you for hot water cornbread, thank you for the Olympics, and thank you for saving us from the dumb ass, angry white people every time it’s the season to vote for a President. Thank you for policing our streets, for serving our nation, for teaching our classrooms, performing our root canals, for curing our cancer, for continuing to contribute to a nation that is constantly slapping you in the face — currently with the presidential candidate for the Republican party.

Not all of us spend our spare time cutting eyeholes in our shiny, new white sheets.

So, thank you, black people. You are the reason I can say emphatically that Donald Trump will not EVER see the Oval Office.  And I love the hell out of my black American fam for that.

The Tangerine-Tinted Natural Disaster Talks Childcare

You can’t make this stuff up. For two decades Democrats have been trying to make paid maternity leave a reality here in the United States like it is in every other developed country on Earth, and Republicans continue to say, “It’s not my job to pay you to stay home with your kid!”

Donald Trump comes out today and says, “We can offer every woman who has a baby 6 weeks of paid maternity leave.”

And his audience lights up like this is brand new information.

Two things funny about that:  1) Trump supporters applauding because they’re too politically ignorant to even realize YOUR  party is NOT on board with that;  2) Democrats (read: Hillary Clinton) have been working on those proposals for decades.

Your party says NO — constantly.


Trump supporters have reached such a scarily cultish mentality where the party of “put God back in schools”  could watch Donald Trump  stand up preach about separation of church and state, and they’d start singing, “Amen! Hallelujah, Brother Trump! Preach, preach!”

And then invariably go on to talk about how he “tells it like it is.”

That is, until he decides to tell it some other way. In which case, “Barack Obama!”

At this point, the most polite response I have for Donald Trump is this:  SHUT THE F-CK UP, you tangerine-tinted natural disaster.

He’s like a tsunami of stupid. A typhoon of tyranny. An earthquake of massive idiot. A tornado of trash. A flood of f-cked up faux-presidential bullshit.

Come on, November.

Evolution of ‘How To Defeat ISIS’ by Donald Trump

How to defeat ISIS like Donald Trump:

Trump: “Oooo, I’ll get that ISIS. I will be so tough on ISIS you won’t believe it.”

Trump:  “My plan? Oh, my plan is the greatest plan probably ever in the history of plans.”

Trump:  “How? Well, my plan is so great and so tough that I can’t tell you my plan.”

Trump:  “My plan — and believe me, I’m the only one that can come up with this plan — well, a lot of people are saying it’s, maybe,  the greatest plan they’ve ever  seen.”

Trump:  “My plan is to get in the room with the generals, and give them 30 days to tell me their plan. No, not the same generals I’ve been saying I know more than, who can’t win anymore, and are an embarrassment to our country. NEW generals.”

Trump:  “My plan is that when I come up with a plan, I’ll call the generals in and, if I like their plan,  maybe I’ll take some of their plan and my plan, when I come up with a plan.”

That, boys and girls, is the brilliant foreign policy execution from the man with “the best words.”

And how could we forget — a “very good brain.”
I guess all those “morning shows” watched in preparation to become commander-in-chief, have really paid off, huh Donald?

Lucky America.

* gags *

You’re A Dipspit, Donald Trump.

Perhaps these Republican talking heads and now Donald Trump — although he loves to talk about Libya, I think we could all agree he couldn’t point out Libya on a map — bringing up the “mistake” under the Clinton State Department of the intervention in Libya, should try asking the Libyan people how they feel about overthrowing the Gaddafi regime. Have you, Donald Trump, ever looked upon the thousands of photos of men, women, and children killed by Muammar Gaddafi’s people that now line the walls of the “museum” put up to honor their fight for freedom.

I have. It’s harrowing.

I can tell you based on the information and books I’ve read and documentaries I’ve watched documenting the aftermath — the Libyan people seem to have hope for the future for the first time. Was there chaos that followed? Absolutely. Has there been terror, death, and destruction as a result? Unfortunately. Are the Libyan people better off, grateful, and in charge of their country’s future minus the murderous, sick regime of Gaddafi — well, according to ACTUAL Libyans and not Fox News talking points, without question.

Donald Trump knows what black people needs, but he talks about black people and at black people  instead of talking to black people. Donald Trump and his fellow Republicans know how “bad” and “disastrous” the regime change has been for Libyans, yet don’t ask the Libyan people or actually visit there to see it for themselves. The Republicans want to talk about Ambassador Chris Stevens’ death and try to blame Hillary, yet while seeming to be so angry over his death, they never take the time to actually get to know anything about Mr Stevens himself. Like the fact that Chris Stevens had an amazing relationship with the Libyan people who mourned him tremendously, and that relationship and his love of the Libyan people is the reason he chose to remain in a dangerous place  — because he believed in their future, the promise of Libya and their fight to overturn Gaddafi. His mother and family have also asked the Republicans to stop politicizing his death because Chris Stevens gave his life for a cause he believed in wholeheartedly — the fight to bring independence to the Libyan people. He was loved beyond measure for that there.

Once again, in the NBC Townhall event, Donald Trump proves that there is nothing he won’t talk about it — even when he hasn’t the slightest bit of information on whatever it is he’s running that hole in his face about — in a attempt to launch an unfounded verbal attack on Hillary Clinton, even if it means tainting the legacy of Ambassador Chris Stevens. Who, ironically enough,  is the man the Republicans have spent five years claiming to care so much about.


Also, as I’ve been screaming for 15 months now, the only world in which “Take the oil!” makes sense, is one in which Donald Trump uses our military to invade Iraq and then profits from it by getting in bed with corporations like BP Oil — you know, similar to the billions of dollars made by Halliburton and Dick Cheney in the last invasion of Iraq.

Take the oil?

What? Like we took Texas from Mexico? Or the whole entire damn country from Native Americans?

You cannot just invade a country and take their natural resources.
This isn’t 1770, you neon bag of bullshit.